January 24, 2002

  • I often wonder how people see me. Am I to them this strong courageous woman that will rip to shreds whomever crosses me? Or am I a woman that is to be recond with? Or am I someone to walk over? How do they see me?

    I think of this today as I went through a hard time in the midst of quite a few people. I could see them looking at me strange. I could see that they were surprised that ME of all people was having a moment of frailty. I could see some that were almost looking glad, others looked on in symapth, and still yet there were those that told me what I NEEDED to do.

    I can tolerate the look of gladness because of the way I think about it. I think that some times they think I am or think I am purfect and this shows that I am not. They are glad that even I have days where I am just human not some super woman or something.
    The others that look on in sympathy....thank you I need that feeling of not being alone. That feeling that you too know what it is like to go through a hard time.
    But to you that tell me what I need to do......you don't know shit. Yes that is right you don't know shit. I can handle someone giving me friendly advice but don't tell me this is what I need or have to do. How do you know. Did you just get some divine guidence to tell me how to live and react to _________??
    Or have you lived the exact kind of life that I have and know my temperment to know how I need to react?? Who died and left you in charge of telling me what to do?? My parents haven't been able to tell me what to do since I was about 12. And I am sure as hell not going to be told what to do as an adult.


    For you out there that want to tell me what to do.....I will tell you what to do as well and it won't be so nicely intended. If you have a suggestion, wait till I can collect my thoughts and emotions and then come to me as a friend. Tell me that you see that I am having a hard time and then give me some suggestions. Don't presume that you know what I need or what I need to do. You may not even know what the problem is. As a matter of fact your telling me what to do today was just that....You don't even know what the problem was/is.


    *Sigh* Some days are just hard. Others are easy. Today was neither. It was horrid. Thanks for the spew.

Comments (4)

  • I'm sorry you had a bad day. Hopefully, I was not the cause of it.  I know you well, but not well enough to completely understand everything you are going through.  Your life is different from mine, but I do feel like I know you.  We have shared so much and bonded in a special way.  Thank you, my friend, for helping me when I have a bad day.  You know I would do anything for you.  Let me know how I can help, I will do what I can.  You are a beautiful child of God.  He loves you, and so do I.

  • I'll just say that I want you to do whatever it takes to make you happy.  I like the Serenity Prayer:

    God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

    The courage to change the things that I can

    And the wisdom to know the difference.

    rr

  • I don't much, but I know how to spell reckoned and perfect.

    That was a joke, if you aren't laughing, please delete.

  • only one thing to say - remember that you can count on me...

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