May 4, 2002

  • Today they are the icing on my cake.......


    I have been thinking again of how crazy I must be. When did I think I could pull off being a single mom, homeschooling mom, and all at the same time of having an infant around.


    Did I think that it would be easy? Did I think I wouldn't have hard days? That another bundle would make my days easier and not harder?

    Silly me!! Of course life is harder. it won't get easier with more kids. It won't get less by not having them in a main stream school. I have the help of the charter, yes, but now it is more taxing. They have to have a certain amount done by the end of each month, collected and turned in on a certain day. I have to change diapers, calm cries, and stop sibling squabbles.


    Today life has been hard....then I looked at their precious faces and it happened........



    I realized what I should have gotten all along. Silly me....I knew I wasn't thinking.....I love kids!!! I specificaly love MY kids. They are the reason that I wake up in the morning. They are the reason that I smile. They are the reason that I breath. They are the reason that I act goofy, they are the reason I have a dance to my step. They are my reason.


    So, do I have a life outside of them...YES...I have a great life. My identity isn't wrapped up in them but yet they are the icing on my cake. They ad the spice to my life. What about the hard??? How can life be hard!! I have preciousness around me at all times.


    They are a part of me but not ALL of me. How did this thought escape my attention? How did this not be on the top of my mind each and every day? I hope I remember it during the hard again and have it help to bouy me up in the stormy sea of life.