I am so sorry that the computer decieded to crap out on me just when we were going to be able to chat again. I really miss chatting with you.

Just so you know....I am hard to offend. I realize with this format (not being able to see each others faces or hear the tone of voice in which something is said) I always ask questions before getting offended. AND If I am hurt in any way I would let you know. Because I don't think you are the type of person that would do so intentionaly.

I really hope that we can chat soon.

Din Venn,

K

I am having  a really hard time living here. I need a job and car so I can get out. I would like to work and save every cent I can for a year. At that time I should be able to get out. But I have to have the job and such. The last job interview I had was horrid. I misunderstood what the job was going to be and looked really bad in the interview. Not that I really wanted the job once I was told what the job really was.

In other news. I have been called to read for a narrator of a play in the next small burb over. I am hoping that I can get the job....I would not have to memorize my lines. I wouldn't be seen on stage. I only have to join in singing as a filler. All that I can do. AND I know the material and the desired results.....I won't have things thrown at me. The play....Rocky Horror Picture Show. They are trying to get it to be like the real expericene in LA when it first came out. I would like to get this part. It pays $50 a night 3 nights a week. For 6 months. This would help me get a little bit of cash.

I have a job application in for Trader Joes as well as Costco. Both of those I can travel and get jobs lined up where I move to so that would be nice if I could get either one of those.

I was looking at this picture...

I don't know why but I love this picture of me. I never really ever like a picture of me but this one.....

I remember when it was taken. I was really happy. The kids liked their dad. I was thinking I would get to visit a friend in a year (with the kids) and I was walking around and happy.

I had friend that I was able to see weekly, I could see the water daily, and I was contented. I think it really shows on me. I want that again. I want to be in a place where I like. I can be free to be, to breath.

(just in general about loads of people)

I miss your face.
I miss your voice.
I miss the way you chuckle a bit uncomfortably.

I miss your eyes.
I miss your Smile.
I miss your hearty loud laughing at my tries.

I miss your hands.
I miss your warmth.
I miss your whispering in my ear.

I miss your thoughts.
I miss your arms
I miss the feeling that I belong right where you are.

I miss your care.
I miss your touch.
I miss being enveloped in who you are.

I miss your heart.
I miss your view.
I miss they way you look at your world.

Time seems to just speed by and I always mean to get here and write but then something comes up. So far I have been on the computer just one day in the last 9. The phone is really hard to write on so I end up not doing that. I post everything from the phone on facebook but here I want to write a bit more than just a line or two.

Me. That is something I have a really hard time writing about. The other place is mostly about the kids and what is going on. Here I was going to write about me.

Me. Right now I have been having a hard time coping with where we are living. I was looking at some rentals. For some reason it took me to Mount Hermon California. I love Mt Hermon. I used to wander through the woods and visit my grand parents there. I love being there. The weather in the summer gets up into the high 80's and on a rare occasion into the mid 90's but it is so rare and those days don't last that long. The days it is that hot by the evening it is cooled down to a great temp. They had 3 houses that I know the people that own them....they are up for rent. AND I can't do anything about it. Up there it is really hard to find work. Harder than here. That just set me off. I have been really sad about that. I wish when I plug my zip code into the internet it would stick with the area.

There is so much going on with the kids and with trying to find a job. I am going to extend my search to be able to find a job. I don't know how I would get to anything outside of the area but maybe I will have a miracle happen.....one can dream....right?

I have been told that I will be able to get my passport renewal soon. That is good news. The last one when it showed up it wans't my picture or my right name...go figure they messed it up.

Still trying to get the kids to be able to have passports. Really need that. Need to do it when the boys don't know so that Brody won't say anything to his father again.