For the last 2 days we have had temps over 95. I am not happy at all. Ima trying very hard to get through this and hopefully to some much cooler weather.

I wish I knew how you are doing.

I wish I had a way of calling and letting you know you are thought of.

I sent a package a week ago I hope it got there or gets there soon. It is some things for Halloween....but that is past. I hope it gets there.

Did I mention it is really hot here.?...yes...well it is. Right now it is 0128 and the temps in the house are 89. I am unable to sleep.

Five good things in my life....(non kid related)

1. I was able to get my foot to do some excercising. I walked a bit (quite a bit) and I am starting to be able to roll my foot to the side without sever pain.
2. I took the SUV the other night and just drove and drove. I found a little place about 7 miles from here where there were no lights and on the back side of a mountain from the light. I could see stars. I was able to see the north star and the big dipper. This is a first since moving here. I miss stars. I love stars.
3. I had a long talk with someone that may be able to help me get out of our living situation. It will take some time but it gives me a goal an actual time line.
4. I slept for more than 4 hours the other night. SOUNDLY. I had vivid dreams. GOOD dreams but when waking up I was disoriented and I was glad they only ones around were W and B.
5. I think I have fixed the problems I have been having on my phone with skype and it is working again. Maybe. I hope so.

The someone I talked with happens to be a financial advisor that overheard a conversation with me and Brody. He has experience in dealing with situations like mine. He actually stopped what he was doing and approached me because of what he heard of what B was saying to me. He asked if we were safe where we lived and B told what was going on. The guy then said he felt that we were safe but advised me to contact him at work because our situation though safe isnt' the best environment. B went on to tell the guy what he wanted and hoped for us as a family. They guy was impressed.

I called him and he spent about 4 hours of his time working for me for free. He said to call him anytime I needed anything. He went on to introduce me to his wife in case I would feel safer talking to a female. They were impressed with how well B was able to express himself. The wife said it shows he is comfortable with me and well taught. That really touched my heart. But they are doing some calling and hopefully I will have much smaller bills to pay so we can be off sooner than hoped for.

I am so sorry that the computer decieded to crap out on me just when we were going to be able to chat again. I really miss chatting with you.

Just so you know....I am hard to offend. I realize with this format (not being able to see each others faces or hear the tone of voice in which something is said) I always ask questions before getting offended. AND If I am hurt in any way I would let you know. Because I don't think you are the type of person that would do so intentionaly.

I really hope that we can chat soon.

Din Venn,

K

I am having  a really hard time living here. I need a job and car so I can get out. I would like to work and save every cent I can for a year. At that time I should be able to get out. But I have to have the job and such. The last job interview I had was horrid. I misunderstood what the job was going to be and looked really bad in the interview. Not that I really wanted the job once I was told what the job really was.

In other news. I have been called to read for a narrator of a play in the next small burb over. I am hoping that I can get the job....I would not have to memorize my lines. I wouldn't be seen on stage. I only have to join in singing as a filler. All that I can do. AND I know the material and the desired results.....I won't have things thrown at me. The play....Rocky Horror Picture Show. They are trying to get it to be like the real expericene in LA when it first came out. I would like to get this part. It pays $50 a night 3 nights a week. For 6 months. This would help me get a little bit of cash.

I have a job application in for Trader Joes as well as Costco. Both of those I can travel and get jobs lined up where I move to so that would be nice if I could get either one of those.

I was looking at this picture...

I don't know why but I love this picture of me. I never really ever like a picture of me but this one.....

I remember when it was taken. I was really happy. The kids liked their dad. I was thinking I would get to visit a friend in a year (with the kids) and I was walking around and happy.

I had friend that I was able to see weekly, I could see the water daily, and I was contented. I think it really shows on me. I want that again. I want to be in a place where I like. I can be free to be, to breath.

(just in general about loads of people)

I miss your face.
I miss your voice.
I miss the way you chuckle a bit uncomfortably.

I miss your eyes.
I miss your Smile.
I miss your hearty loud laughing at my tries.

I miss your hands.
I miss your warmth.
I miss your whispering in my ear.

I miss your thoughts.
I miss your arms
I miss the feeling that I belong right where you are.

I miss your care.
I miss your touch.
I miss being enveloped in who you are.

I miss your heart.
I miss your view.
I miss they way you look at your world.

Time seems to just speed by and I always mean to get here and write but then something comes up. So far I have been on the computer just one day in the last 9. The phone is really hard to write on so I end up not doing that. I post everything from the phone on facebook but here I want to write a bit more than just a line or two.

Me. That is something I have a really hard time writing about. The other place is mostly about the kids and what is going on. Here I was going to write about me.

Me. Right now I have been having a hard time coping with where we are living. I was looking at some rentals. For some reason it took me to Mount Hermon California. I love Mt Hermon. I used to wander through the woods and visit my grand parents there. I love being there. The weather in the summer gets up into the high 80's and on a rare occasion into the mid 90's but it is so rare and those days don't last that long. The days it is that hot by the evening it is cooled down to a great temp. They had 3 houses that I know the people that own them....they are up for rent. AND I can't do anything about it. Up there it is really hard to find work. Harder than here. That just set me off. I have been really sad about that. I wish when I plug my zip code into the internet it would stick with the area.

There is so much going on with the kids and with trying to find a job. I am going to extend my search to be able to find a job. I don't know how I would get to anything outside of the area but maybe I will have a miracle happen.....one can dream....right?

I have been told that I will be able to get my passport renewal soon. That is good news. The last one when it showed up it wans't my picture or my right name...go figure they messed it up.

Still trying to get the kids to be able to have passports. Really need that. Need to do it when the boys don't know so that Brody won't say anything to his father again.

So much time passes before I realize how long it has been since I talked with my friends. I seem to find myself very busy and needing to just sit down. With my foot messed up (still!!!) I am forced to sit and take a breather often. I have to let the swelling go down.

In these times I think of calling friends and wishing that my friends weren't just as busy as I am. I would like to have simpler times.

I have had another job interview over the phone. This didn't go so well. The kids decieded WWIII needed to start and then. I had to cut the call short so I could bandage and save those that were casualties of this war. Of course before this was all over I got a text letting me know I wasn't suited for the job!.

Seems like I need to get a job talking people down from ledges and such because that seems to be my talent these days, ok maybe not talking down from ledges but emotions run high, kids get worked up and then need talking calmly to. Wonder what I can do. I sure would like to know what I want to be when I grow up. I am nearing a birthday and I still don't know.

Silly me.....watched the first episode of a new show sh!t my dad says I was silly enough to drink while I was watching....for the first time in a long time liquid came out my nose.... I think I am going to watch this show and laugh a lot. I need the laughing.

here I thought if I used this site to just write a daily blog just one for me and if someone read here oh well....well I have been just as bad at writing here as at my other site.

So I will try and write a bit again.

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Today has been an intersting day. My idea was to start going through my garage where my stuff is and just whittle it down till I could just poof be gone and not worry about much. BUT so far everything I have looked at is being used. With the exception of the kids toys it is all being used by me. So I need to go through and say goodbye to things that I use and have liked having. Just go through and cut cut cut..... I have a zen garden  with easter Island thingys. And I love playing with it and making new designs. This is my calming therapy when the kids are being butts!!

I go into the garage, pour out the sand, level it, comb through the sand in designes, and then place the heads as well as the ods and ends of rocks. If I am still not calm I redo the sand and the rocks and such. Then I put them away.

So there is one thing that do I really need it?! but I don't want to get rid of it. And there are so many things like this. So many things that I use. But then I don't have anything but clothing in the house that is mine and this bothers me more and more as the days go by.

I feel religated to the garage. I don't have a home to use my things in. Everything in this house is either the kids or E's. SIGH.....

On a brighter note....

The kids are brilliant. They are so funny and great! Today they were gross. They found about 10 slugs and decided to play with them...with their hands and then they tried to race them....they didn't want to go anywhere.

Now the kids are in bed and I am needing to head that way as well.

This heat is getting to be annoying. But on the bright side I was able to skype with you R. That was so much fun. I think I find myself wanting to talk more than I should . One of the things I find so enjoyable about talking with you....is that I laugh a lot. I like laughing. I hope I don't bother you or annoy you with my trying to translate things from Norse to English or the other way around. I think I need to figure out how to say a few things so that I am talking in your native language. I don't expect you to always talk in English for me (sounds fair?!)

Anyway here is the story...

i hope you can read it....the boys heard me talking about this story and ran off to write their own. So far we have a story about a really annoying princess whose father is just trying to get rid of her so that he doesn't have to listen to her anymore (just like the kids next door,...too bad I can't do something about them) says Walker.

Brody is trying to write about a girl that talks so much her lips fall off.

Thanks for skyping with me again. I enjoyed our chat. Hope to talk again soon.